The Idea of People Touching Met Paintings Makes Me Palpitate

From theOnion.com: “Struggling Museum Now Allowing Patrons To Touch Paintings”

This hilarious article is actually inducing a miniature panic attack in me. I hate going to crowded museums and can’t HELP but admonish people for using flash photography (“don’t you want your grandkids to see this painting??”)  If the Met really enacted this new policy, it might just be the death of me.

Hoping to boost attendance and broaden its base of supporters, the Metropolitan Museum of Art launched a new initiative this week that allows patrons, for the first time ever, to prod and scratch at the classic paintings in its revered collection.

According to Campbell, attendance has increased tenfold since the new policy went into effect, with record turnouts causing 45-minute waits for those wishing to clumsily paw at the works of Vincent van Gogh.

“At first it just looked like a picture of a bunch of lily pads, but then I started scraping at it with my pocket knife and the whole painting just sort of spoke to me,”

“Whenever I need some alone time, I can bring the kids here and send them off to go play with the Picassos for a while.”

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