You can pre-order Roger Sterling’s autobiography at Amazon for $10.17. That’s right — a real published book written by a fake character on Mad Men!
June 29th, 1965
After devoting most of my life to the
nefarious trade known as advertising,
I thought it was time to share some of
the pearls that I’ve been fortunate enough
to accumulate. Now keep in mind that
oysters don’t open easy and every one of
those gaudy baubles started off as a grain
As you may find out, I’m not a writer.
On some level, that’s a point of pride
because it steered me away from the cliché
of autobiography. I had no desire to waste
your and my time trying to turn a list of
events into a campaign of triumph.
So here it is . . . a few things overheard,
a few things to live by, and hell,
a few things I’ve apparently said and had
repeated to me the morning after a party
when I called to make amends. As I said,
advertising’s been half my life and I’m
probably off by 50 percent. But dammit,
if it hasn’t felt like fifteen minutes.
You’ll see the dedication reads differently,
but I’d like to thank and apologize in
advance to the following entities:
2. Lincoln. The President and
3. That nameless genius that first put a
pickled onion in a glass of vodka.
4. People who can really write. I’m sorry my
book got published first.
5. J. Press., Brooks Brothers, and Renaldo,
my tailor with the golden needle.
6. Hotel rooms where the bed is always the
center of attention.
7. Arpege, Shalimar, Joy, Chanel No. 5.
It’s all your fault.
10. New York City, the cradle of civilization.
I should also probably thank my agent,
Ira, for almost believing in me, and the
folks at Grove Press who urge you to buy
ten. They make great coasters.
Roger Sterling, Jr.