Category Archives: food

Prosciutto of Pig’s Past

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I write this with fear trembling in my fingertips. The other day I was alone in the kitchen grabbing some prosciutto for a snack (my #1 favorite food of all time). As I peeled some off the wax paper and placed it on a plate, I turned around and looked down to find…… A PIG. A scurrying, hairy-eared, (maybe even boar-like), fleeing pig. I was so scared, I took a photo— and then ate it real fast. All of it – I ate all of the prosciutto like Miranda ate that giant cookie cake that said “I Love You”. If I eat it, it doesn’t exist…

Skittles For Every Touchdown

Here I go, trying to talk about sports again. Marshawn Lynch of the Seattle Seahawks was filmed eating Skittles after scoring a touchdown in their winning game against the Philadelphia Eagles. Why Skittles? Because that’s what his mommy used to give him when he played football in high school 🙂  After the game, Skittles offered him a 2 year’s supply of the feel-the-rainbow candies.

What a Crock of Stock!

Reached for a nice carton of chicken stock and –WHAt THe..! Whole Foods, you’re not gonna trick me into buying $35 broth this time!..

Breads’ Plastic Tags State the Baking Day

I don’t buy enough bread to verify this.. is this true? And why is bread not baked on Wednesday? I can understand why baking is not done on Sunday (I figure it’s the When Harry Met Sally excuse: “Because of God.”) God, I love that movie…

Engagement Chicken

Glamour Magazine is putting out a cover-headline-story-worthy new cookbook, 100 Recipes Every Woman Should Know: Engagement Chicken and 99 Other Fabulous Dishes to Get You Everything You Want in Life, on April 5. No, I’m serious. The magazine claims the recipe for Engagement Chicken is responsible for 60 marriages:

Engagement Chicken

1 whole chicken (approx. 3 lb.)
2 medium lemons
Fresh lemon juice (1/2 cup)
Kosher or sea salt
Ground black pepper

Place rack in upper third of oven and preheat to 400 degrees. Wash chicken inside and out with cold water, remove the giblets, then let the chicken drain, cavity down, in a colander until it reaches room temp (about 15 minutes). Pat dry with paper towels. Pour lemon juice all over the chicken (inside and outside). Season with salt and pepper. Prick the whole lemons three times with a fork and place deep inside the cavity. (Tip: If lemons are hard, roll on countertop with your palm to get juices flowing.) Place the bird breast-side down on a rack in a roasting pan, lower heat to 350 degrees and bake uncovered for 15 minutes. Remove from oven and turn it breast-side up (use wooden spoons!); return it to oven for 35 minutes more. Test for doneness—a meat thermometer inserted in the thigh should read 180 degrees, or juices should run clear when chicken is pricked with a fork. Continue baking if necessary. Let chicken cool for a few minutes before carving. Serve with juices.

Other really silly recipe names include:

  • He Stayed Over Omelet Skinny Jeans Scallops
  • Hers and His Cupcakes
  • No Guy Required Grilled Steak
  • Let’s Make a Baby Pasta
  • Forget the Mistake You Made at Work Margarita
  • Bribe a Kid Brownies

I’m biting my tongue on this one, ladies!….

Diet Sodas for Dudes

Coca-Cola, Dr. Pepper and Pepsi have all created diet sodas for guys: Coca-Cola Zero, Dr. Pepper Ten, Pepsi Max. With strong sports-oriented marketing campaigns, darker masculine packaging and a vieled attempt to distract from the diet benefit with claims of “extreme” flavors, no one will notice he’s drinking the Nutrisystem/Curves/Spanx of soda! Nope! So, “No girls allowed”? No problem — I don’t drink/eat diet-anything. Those things are for wussies!….

PS. Just in case you were wondering, I’m also not interested in Diet Pepsi’s new “skinny” can, debuted during NYC Fashion Week last week with much controversy

That’s Not Taffy.. That’s Animal!

Don’t want you to turn vegetarian or anything (I am far from it!) but this is a strange, strange concept. As a method of maximizing profits, the method of AMR (Advanced Meat Recovery) was created to scrape every single bit of meat off of animal bones in meat production. The bits are then put through a high pressure sieve and out comes this pink paste that is actually flesh and blood. To be honest, it is believable.. but hard for me to fully trust the story since it comes from a pro-vegetarian website (vegsource.com). And also, my brain really just thinks this is pretty strawberry soft serve being squeezed into a cardboard box lid. I want sprinkles!..

Frozen Pizza & Frozen Cookies?

Yes, this is real.

Are you supposed to cook them at the same time??

No Room in the Brain for Vegetable Names

These signs just made me laugh so much. I can’t believe there is someone out there who consistently cares SO LITTLE about the correct spelling of these vegetables. Some of these aren’t even phonetically correct. I love it. (Via.)

Vitaminwater Lip Balm for Lip Service

Well this is an interesting departure for Vitaminwater – lip balms. They are in the midst of a high-profile lawsuit where they are accused of leading people to believe their sugary chemical drink is healthy– and they are trying to win by actually saying “No, Vitaminwater is not healthy — We have no idea why anyone would think that! Just because our labels infer that drinking this will prevent you from getting sick doesn’t mean we mean it!..” Remember when the New Yorkers’ diet in 2002 was Vitaminwater and Pirate’s Booty? Nowadays, people shun anything unnatural or processed..